Saturday, August 27, 2011


So, I was in the car today with my mom and roomie and one of their friends to go do some gambling at potowatomi casino. (It's so pretty! I didn't win :()

Well, we passed by a storefront that had some really cute dresses in it, and it made me know, when I get to my goal weight my bank account is going to hurt super bad....and it got me thinking how weird that was, because I've always been a bit of a tomboy.

I don't know if thats because I've been larger all my life, or if it's actual preference. Think about it, girls clothing is cut short and tight and form fitting. For a larger girl, ESPECIALLY a teenage one, that puts you in an awkward place.

Seriously, as a teenager I owned 1 dress. And it was a little black sport dress, like it had the adidias stripe down the side. God I miss that dress, it was really damn cute!

Anyways, meanwhile, boys had AWESOME clothes when I was a teenage. Giant baggy jeans, big t-shirts or fishnets shirts that drew the attention by the chest and not the stomach. Yes, I was really goth-y too, although I think that had more to do with my music taste. Heck, if I could get away with it now I'd still be really goth-y....except I have a career and they don't make cute goth clothes in my size....grrr...

So I wonder if that helped influence how tomboyish I was. I could play the part of the girl, where weight is ALWAYS being discussed, either the boys love you or you feel like crap and clothes are always tight, or I could be like the guys, have nice big baggy clothes, have weight NEVER come up, and have tons of guy friends who like me (but not in -that- way) (but then I never had to worry about rejection, because it was a moot point) But I don't regret it. I've had some amazing times with my guys, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm starting to come out of that mindset though, mostly from the nudging from my good friend Dani (and much to my mothers joy). But I'll always love taking in a Brewers game, playing video games, and lighting things on fire. And I'll always have some simple, not so girly clothes.

What I miss most is being able to throw on some jeans and a t-shirt. Jeans just don't fit me right. And T-shirts are hard to come by. Although I did find a super cute workout t-shirt by Catherines that I think I'm going to buy like 4 more because they are comfy and look really good.

I opened a bank account, and deposited 100 dollars in it. From here on, I'm going to put 5 dollars in that account every time I lose a pound. Because thinking about clothes got me thinking about how I'm going to need a WHOLE new wardrobe once I get to my goal weight. goal is 250 pounds lost, so that would be.....1250 bucks. That will buy me some really nice duds. (And something sexy from Victoria's Secret....just because I will be able to, haha)

Any other larger women out there lean towards the tomboyish side? Do you think it had any influence from your size? What are your thoughts?

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